the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
