does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
