butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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