Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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