I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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