Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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