Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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