he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
