I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
