Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize