I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
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