I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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