i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
