I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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