Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
