He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
