Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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