I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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