Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
home. puking in laundry basket.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
