He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
