You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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