If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
