her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night