so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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