I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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