Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
