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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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