we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
