You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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