Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
