its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
