I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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