she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
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Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
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She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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