I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
