see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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