You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Reggie can tackle my bush.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
