Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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