if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
