Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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