If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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