Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
