That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I haven't been this sober since birth.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
