i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
