Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
