You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize