so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
