I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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