Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
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oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
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There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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