Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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