You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
