he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
