Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
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So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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