shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
