I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
