Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
