ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
