I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
