Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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