after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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