it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
