Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
