I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
