Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize