What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
