Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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