Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i dont even know how to be here
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
