i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize