why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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