smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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