You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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