too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
