he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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