what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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