I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
