Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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