listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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